46 Ways to Improve Communication in Marriage
Every 13 seconds, someone, somewhere files for a divorce in the U.S.
50% of children in the U. S. will see their parents divorce in their lifetime.
One of the main reasons for divorce among Christian and non Christian marriages is the lack of communication.
I have put together 46 ways improve communication in your marriage. But first let’s look at a few important questions that many people have.
Why is communication in marriage important?
When 2 different people, with different backgrounds, that think, act and speak different come together, problems are going to arise.
Finding a healthy way of expressing your thoughts and emotions to each other will bring happiness to your marriage, will minimize problems, reduce stress and will build up the relationship.
In order to have a successful marriage, you and spouse have to make communicating with each other a priority.
Can a marriage survive without communication?
Communication is a vital part of the foundation of marriage. By communicating with your spouse, you demonstrate that you care.
Marriage Communication mistakes
- Wrong timing, arguing when you or your spouse are angry, tired, upset, stressed, etc.
- Yelling at your spouse.
- Pride (I have to win this argument because I’m right and you are wrong). Pride is the enemy of love and the enemy of marriage.
- Cursing, speaking death over your marriage, your situation and your spouse.
- Bringing up the past mistakes.
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46 Ways to Improve Communication in Marriage
- Respect and honor your spouse.
- Be led by The Spirit of God.
- Speak the truth in love.
- Spend time together. Make time for each other!
- Be willing to change and improve.
- Think of yourselves as a team.
- Quit unhealthy communication habits, like yelling.
- Don’t call each other ugly names (idiot, stupid, etc.).
- Always demonstrate your love with touch. Communication is more than words.
- Be specific when you talk. Your spouse is not a mind-reader.
- Be a good listener. Open your ears and your heart to really understand what your spouse is telling you. Listen to understand, not to respond.
- Do not bring up past mistakes. The past keeps you from living the present and the future. Do not think about it, do not nurture it. Give it to God and let it go.
- Pray together. Ask The Lord to help both of you to communicate better and to listen better.
- Treat your spouse that way you want to be treated.
- Be a peacemaker.
- Good communicators are good listeners
- Express how you feel without accusations.
- Watch the way you respond to your spouse.
- Think about the tone of your voice when you are speaking to your spouse. Are you annoyed? Do you have an attitude?
- Always be quick to forgive, even if there is no apology.
- Say I’m sorry when you are wrong.
- Express positive feelings.
- Write a daily appreciation note, email, text. Let him know how much you appreciate him.
- Sarcasm should not be part of the way you communicate with your spouse.
- Be positive.
- Have a good attitude.
- Use kind words.
- Walk a way when you are very upset or angry. Take a timeout when you need it.
- If you have nothing nice to say, just be quiet. Is better to be quiet than to break your spouse’s heart with your words.
- Know when it’s the right time to talk and when it’s not.
- Turn the tv off in your room. Talk to each other about your day, make plans for the future or just lay down right next to each other.
- Recognize that your spouse is human and he makes mistakes.
- Compliments are always great!
- Be honest and transparent.
- Stop complaining.
- Don’t criticize your spouse in front of people.
- Ask questions.
- Don’t criticize your husband, be an encourager instead.
- Be interested in what your spouse has to say.
- Speak words of life over your marriage. Confess that you and your husband have great communication.
- Use positive reinforcement.
- Media free family dinners. Seeing you guys communicating with each other is a great example for your kids.
- Make eye contact.
- Put the phone down when your spouse is talking to you. It shows him that you really care about him and that you make him a priority.
- Read Marriage books together, at least one per year.
- Go to marriage conferences. You don’t have to have a troubled marriage to go to a conference. Going to a conference will keep your marriage from trouble!
Love is a choice
Love is a choice that we get to make everyday. Is a commitment that we have made to God and to our spouses. Our marriages are worth fighting for.
Putting God as the center of your marriage first, praying and following the “46 Ways to Improve Communication in your Marriage” list, will help you and your spouse to communicate better.
Tony Evans has a great series called Kingdom Marriages. This will be a great resource for you and your spouse, it comes with a book, study guide and DVD, you can get it here.
You can find the Kingdom Marriage book here.
Don’t forget to get your free printable on Praying for Lasting Marriage. You can find it in this post How to Pray for a Lasting Marriage.
When it comes to communication in your marriage, what do you struggle the most with?