How to be a better parent

If I had the chance to go back in time to when my kids were little, I would do so many things different…😞

I’m sure I’m not the only one who had thought of this before. Even though my boys are still little (11 & 9), there are so many things that I wish I would of done differently.

I wish I had more patience with them, I should have spent more time with them and less time on the phone or on the computer. I wish I didn’t freak out as much and yell at them or stress about how much they ate.

The truth is that all of us carry a little bit of guilt because we wish we could be better parents. We love our kids and we want to be the best parent for them so they can be happy and successful in life.

Being a good parent doesn’t mean being a perfect parent. We have to understand that no matter how hard we try we will never be perfect. There is only 1 perfect Father and we are not it.

But that doesn’t mean that we can’t try our best. There is always room for improvement!

The following are a few steps that will help you learn how to be a better parent.

No more guilt

Whatever we did or didn’t do in the past must stay in the past. Looking at the mistakes we made in the past, keeps us from living our present. We need to learn from our mistakes and move on. No more guilt, the past is just part of our growth.

Just like babies grow we also grow as parents. We are also learning with them and just like they stumble and fall, sometimes we as parents stumble and make mistakes too. But the mistakes helps us grow and become a better parent.

You will never be a perfect parent and that’s ok.

Pray for wisdom

The bible tells us that when we have a need, we must ask: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” So, praying for wisdom is a must in order to be a better parent. 🙏🏻

Each child is different, each parent is different, so, what works for one may not work for the other.  Yes, the advice from family and friends is greatly appreciated but it doesn’t compare with the wisdom that comes from God. He sees each person and knows what is in their heart.  That’s why we need to have wisdom to deal with every person and every area of our lives.

Teach your kids to love The Lord

Encouraging a relationship with The Lord is the most important thing you can do for your kids. Not only knowing about Him but to know Him personally.

Take your time and teach them the word of God, teach them how to pray and how to pray for others. Every chance you get talk to them about God and help them to see Him as their loving Father.

This not only will help them to live a better life but it will also have eternal consequences.

Love above all❤️

When we let love be the driving force behind us we can see great things happen.

We all love our babies, but sometimes life happens and our lives become monotonous. Sometimes we are so busy that we are just going through the motions, trying to get by another day.

Let all that you say and do be done in love. Discipline with love, talk to your kids with love, feed them with love and also forgive them with love. That your kids will always know that no matter what they have done, your love is greater than any problem.

Saying I love you is not enough, actions speak louder than words. It is not what you say but what you do that shows your kids your love.

Be present

Nothing says I love you more than sitting around listening to what your kids have to say.  Spending quality time with your kids is what good parenting is all about.

When you are home, nothing should be more important than your spouse and your kids. It is very sad that families nowadays have nothing to say to each other, they would rather be on their phones or on their tablets. They are more interested in what people are saying on social media instead of what their family has to say.

I think we all need to work hard on this one. Lets put our phones inside a drawer or in another room and let’s be present for each other. Being together on the phone is not being together. Declare a moratorium on electronics during dinner. Sit at the table as a family and talk about each others day. Most importantly, listen to what each other has to say.

Let your kids know how important they are to you and put your phones and chores to the side and really spend time with them.

Breathe and walk away

There has been more than 1 time that I have lost my cool with my kids and I regret it afterwards. Sometimes they drive me crazy and I can’t help it.😤

The best way to deal with any situation is to breath and walk away, use this time to pray for wisdom. When we act out of anger and emotions, we say things we don’t mean and/or do things we regret. Never discipline your child while you are angry. Take a break to cool off and then come back when you thoughts are more clear.

Establish rules

There are rules and laws everywhere we go, so the sooner our kids understand that the better they will be. The same needs to apply to our homes. Having rules will help with discipline and also helps develop self control on our kids.

For example, my boys know that in our house, no food is allowed upstairs where the rooms are. They know this rule very well so they never ask to bring food upstairs and they also make sure that their friends follow the same rule when they come to our house.

Make sure your kids know very well the rules in your home and make sure they understand that breaking those rules will bring bad consequences.

 

Be understanding

The world is a very different place now than we me and my husband grew up. Sometimes we try to raise our kids the way we were raised without considering that they are being brought up in a complete different world.

There are things that never should change like good manners, values and integrity. But let’s also be understanding of this world our kids are growing up in.  For example: like it or not technology is a big part of their life now and it will be for the rest of their lives. It doesn’t mean that they can be on the phone 24/7 but that is part of the life now days.

Hugs and kisses😗

They are never to old to be hugged or to be kissed. Make sure you tell your kids how much you love them everyday just like you did while they were babies.

One day they might move away to another city, or another state, even another country and you won’t get to see them, or hug them, or kiss them whenever you want. 😭Do it now while they are close.

Speak life unto them

We need to be super careful with the words that come out of our mouths. Words have power and you can speak life and blessing into your child’s life or you can speak death and curse. You can break a child spirit with the words you speak.

Never call you kids names like idiot or stupid or curse at them. Your job as a parent is to build them up and not put them down. Even simple words like dumb and lazy, that we think are harmless, weighs more than we can imagine in a child heart.

Remember that your voice will become their inside voice. If you call them lazy and stupid, that’s the image that they will form of themselves.

Instead focus always on the good things, tell them how proud you are of them, praise their talents and always encourage them to work hard on the areas they need to work on the most. Let them know they are smart and beautiful and that they capable of achieving great things.

Be your kid’s personal cheerleader and always have a kind word for them.

Teach them manners, values and work ethic

In an ever changing world there are things that will never change, teaching your kids manners, values and work ethic will put them ahead of the others.

When I was working at a elementary school,  it was my duty to be at the carline at the end of the day and help open the car door for the kids to go home. I’m not lying when I tell you that out of 100 car riders only 2 kids said thank you when I opened the door for them. 😲 It made such an impression on me that I still remember those 2 kids.

We need to raise kids that will stand out from the crowd. It is never to late or too early to start teaching manners, values and work ethic.( If you like to read a great post about raising boys you can find it here).

Follow through

Mean what you say and say what you mean. If you say you are going to do something, do it. This is a great way to gain the respect of your kids.

Don’t give false warnings or threats, Be ready to follow through with what you have spoken. This is a great lesson to learn on how to be a better parent.

Be an example

Plain and simple, act the way you want your kids to act, speak they way you want them to speak; and be the kind of person you want them to be.

You are their model, you are their hero. Your kids will learn from you. Things like the way you treat your spouse, to the way you handle difficult situations, they will learn them all from you. So make sure you are praying for wisdom to be a great leader in your child’s life, because when they grow up, they are gonna 😊 want to be just like you.

Have fun

Parenting is like a roller coaster ride, it has it’s ups and downs. Don’t stress too much about being the perfect parent and having the perfect kids. Just enjoy the ride, have fun.

You may not have a super clean home like your best friend, you may have toys everywhere, and clothes everywhere, and maybe some dirty dishes but you know what?  That’s ok.

When your kids grow up they are not going to remember the dog hair in the dinning room floor but they are going to remember the time you spend with them having fun.

It doesn’t have to be complicated, maybe playing a board game or just laying in bed watching funny videos on the internet with your kids. Loving each other, being there, enjoying each other’s company and having fun together, that is great parenting if you ask me. 😉

 

What other advice do you have for parents that want to know how to be a better parent?